Clayton Harrop, a 29-year-old Australian man, has started an uproar about sexual ethics and what’s expected of women as it pertains to relationships. To Harrop, getting men to play the field, dog the game, and rack up the lay experience would be a huge win for feminism. At the same time, he’s deeply uncomfortable with the idea of women having a high “body count.” Instead, he wants a partner who’s had less sex than him. His opinions have sparked a larger conversation about the impossible pressures our young men are under when it comes to masculinity and sexual partnerships.
Harrop strongly articulated his belief that sex is a sacred act. He went on to refer to it as “the most sacred thing in the universe,” noting that it should be honored as such. He acknowledged that his view might seem “hypocritical,” considering his own past sexual exploits. “I don’t like the idea of a super high body count in women if I’m completely honest,” he stated, emphasizing his preference for being his partner’s first.
Today’s The Man Box 2024 report uncovers a truly disturbing trend. About 47 percent of young Australian men reported feeling pressured to agree with the statement that a “real man” needs to have lots of different sexual partners. Furthermore, about 56 percent feel there is an implied requirement that a “real man” wouldn’t refuse sex.
I don’t want 20 other men able to say: ‘Yeah, I’ve been with her, bro,’ Harrop expressed, highlighting his insecurities regarding relationships. I think a lot of young men would connect with what he said. As they navigate the cultural pressures of today’s dating scene, they’re contending with outdated notions of masculinity.
The debate over Harrop’s position has caught the eye of academics and other researchers in the burgeoning field of sexual ethics. Dr. Millicent Churcher, a lecturer in philosophy at Australian Catholic University, has emphasized the importance of understanding the complexities of sexual experiences beyond mere numbers. “Body count, what does it really tell you?” she questioned. Dr. Churcher flattens this notion of body count by explaining that it isn’t indicative of sexual lust or skill level.
You might think that someone with a high body count has a really high sex drive or is super experienced. That’s not necessarily the case,” Dr. Churcher continued. Her research further indicates that defining women’s worth through their sexual past negatively impacts women’s mental health. Either path entirely undermines their quality of life.
Lauren Rosewarne, an associate professor at the University of Melbourne who studies gender, sexuality and feminism, agrees. She contends that the prevalent “body count” narrative unfairly harms women. “It disadvantages women and constrains their behaviour in ways it doesn’t for men,” Rosewarne stated.
Rosewarne noted that societal pressures to feel a certain way about sex can make women feel bad about sex. By doing this, they would acknowledge that many women grew up with harmful ideas about sex. Consequently, they shared experiencing fear, pain, and disgust during sex. This is part of a worrying trend where women’s value becomes linked to their sexual history.
I have incredible concerns with women’s value being connected to both their perceived ‘f
