Clayton Harrop, a 29-year-old participant in a recent discussion panel on modern masculinity, has garnered attention for his views on sexual experience and relationships. As we discussed during that debate, Harrop was adamant in making the case that sexual encounters should be sacred. He reiterated his desire for a future partner with a low “body count.” His proclamations speak to a larger cultural discussion on the meaning of masculinity, sexual mores and ethics, and consequences of such attitudes toward women.
Bubba’s perspective starts and ends with the idea that going after it and bettering yourself is a bootstraps, ruggedly individualistic, manly thing to do. He stated, “I don’t like the idea of a super high body count in women if I’m completely honest,” emphasizing his discomfort with the idea of multiple past partners. And that sex is the “most personal thing in the world.” This view implies we need to go about it in a way that is respectful and sober.
During the debate, Harrop expressed a desire for exclusivity in relationships, saying, “I don’t want 20 other men able to say: ‘Yeah, I’ve been with her, bro.’” I think a lot of young men in Australia understand that feeling. In fact, surveys find that close to 47 percent are pressured to live up to the notion that a “real man” sleeps with as many different women as he can. Nearly 56 percent think that at an implicit level, men are expected not to reject sexual advances.
Harrop’s perspective isn’t the only one out there. They have sparked conversations within the scholarly community about the societal impact of making a woman’s worth proportional to her sexual past. Lauren Rosewarne, an associate professor at the University of Melbourne, points out a deeply disturbing trend. She notes that the prevailing body count discourse actually burdens women more, limiting their actions in ways that men are not held accountable for. She remarked, “It disadvantages women and constrains their behaviour in ways it doesn’t for men.”
Dr. Millicent Churcher, whose research in sexual ethics has led her to make this important observation. She explains how the “body count” metric often does not become a useful stand-in for measuring sexual desirability or prowess. She questioned its validity by stating, “Body count, what does it really tell you?” Churcher went on to explain that high counts aren’t necessarily indicative of sexual desire or skill. You’re probably thinking that a person with a high body count just has a high sex drive or is super experienced. That may not be true,” she added.
The debate over whether sexual experience is a plus — or minus — goes far beyond personal views. The effects of these societal narratives on women’s understandings and experiences with sex have been well researched. Research since the 1970s has shown that women with conservative Christian ideologies that prioritize abstinence almost always develop sexual pain disorders. Additionally, women exposed to negative beliefs about sex during childhood frequently report feelings of fear and disgust during intimate encounters.
Jeff Kissubi, another participant in The Feed’s Masculinity debate, views the body count narrative as a form of social control over women’s behavior. He maintains that it establishes a legal precedent where women are blamed for luring men. This view shifts all the weight of being sexual gatekeepers firmly onto their backs.
