Ben, a father of three, advocates for a parenting style that emphasizes independence, resilience, and a blend of love and discipline. His uncompromising Christian faith was the driving force behind this decision, so much so that he started his journey into parenthood as a father of 22. His approach includes several practices that have inspired many other parents to open up about the challenges of raising children in today’s world.
Ben’s philosophy is that encouraging independence in children begins at a young age. He tries to build resilience by exposing his children to obstacles but ensuring a safety net is there. In his opinion, all kids need a loving environment combined with clear limits to flourish.
It’s long been understood that we’re in a helicopter parenting age. Even parents who practice this style of parenting recognize its pervasiveness. Ben said, “There’s a lot of hyper attention on our children.”
His approach to parenting includes, what he refers to as, “gentle smacks” for punishment. He emphasizes that these smacks are never made in anger, but rather as part of a greater dialogue about behavior. After a gentle smack, Ben follows up with discussions, prayer, and reconciliation to reinforce the importance of relationships in his family.
So when we say no, we hope this time that we really will mean no. He explained. “Our children can trust us when we say: ‘you can do this’, ‘you can’t do that’. They know what the consequence is.
This focus on trust means that Ben’s kids know where they can’t go, but they know they’re safe within their range of freedom. He argues that setting limits does not suppress independence. It lays the groundwork where kids can thrive.
Yet, at the same time, we’re attempting to provide them increasingly less freedom beyond the confines of their house. He added. Realising just as much as our children are so much more than what we give them credit to be.
Ben’s insights hit home with all parents trying to make their way through the minefield that is so often modern parenting. Cath Lorenz left her teaching career after she became unable to control student violence. Now, looking back on how she raised her children, she feels a pang of guilt. She tells us that she regrets not being stricter with her now-adult children. Cath’s parents, she reflects, did a great job raising Cath—keeping her in an environment rich with non-negotiable limits and expectations.
“There seems to be a lack of accountability for students,” Cath noted. This specific situation reflects a general trend of parents being apprehensive about what children are doing in today’s society.
Amy Muir, an activist and fellow parent featured in the film, parents for freedom and autonomy as well. She uses the “empathy sandwich” approach to make boundaries without causing harm. This approach focuses on validating a child’s emotions before setting a boundary with them, allowing for children to feel heard, understood, and respected in the moment.
Gen Muir, a nationwide advocate for mindful parenting, a good school alternative recognizes the stressful and competitive world of parenthood today. She emphasizes that discipline is able to be a real “minefield,” notably in the face of unhealthy and contradictory ideas discovered on the web.
“I apply the information that I teach 30 per cent of the time — not 100 per cent of the time — because none of us are meant to parent sitting on the floor, welcoming every feeling our child has 100 per cent of the time,” Gen stated.
Unfortunately, this is the reality for many parents. They want the absolute best for their children, battling their limitations and external forces to meet the expectations of society.
You give tons of praise, affection and snuggles. In parallel, you set clear expectations that serve as guardrails for them to succeed inside of. Gen emphasized.
Ben’s approach aligns with this philosophy. For one thing, he’s deeply aware that remaining calm is necessary for effective discipline. “When we go to the threats and the punishments, our kids’ cortisol goes up and usually behavior gets worse,” he said. “It doesn’t work, and it creates a disconnect with the bribes and the rewards.”
Parenting styles—from toilet training to table manners—make us wonder if strictness is still the key ingredient or if indulging our kids is winning out. Parents like Ben, Cath, Amy, and Gen represent varying perspectives on how best to equip children for adulthood while nurturing their individuality.
As more parents face the realities of raising children in an ever-evolving world, the dialogue surrounding effective parenting strategies continues to grow. Through collective storytelling and experience-informed, research-backed methodology, they find answers — all in the service of balancing love with discipline.
