Our recent deep dive into the notion of “core memories” led to some amazing discoveries. These memories profoundly impact our sense of identity and self throughout childhood and especially in early adolescence. Experts Maria Kangas and Celia Harris from Macquarie University explore the nature of autobiographical memories, their formation, and the implications for childhood development. Asking this question leads to critical follow-up questions like, how do parents make these types of memories happen in their kids.
According to Professor Maria Kangas, head of the School of Psychological Sciences at Macquarie University, personal and autobiographical memories are crucial components of an individual’s sense of self. She argues that these memories allow individuals to construct their environment, predict behavior, and bond with others. “Autobiographical memories, the personal memories of our lives, are intertwined with our identities.”
Celia Harris, a senior research fellow in cognitive neuroscience at the same institution. As she notes, the mechanisms through which some childhood experiences stick to us and others dissolve into the ether are still very much unknown. As Harris explains, what you experience by the age of four has not really been integrated very well. It’s sometimes a little piecemeal. Fragmentation, however, is a double-edged sword as it can produce gaps in memory. This then leads to what is termed “infantile amnesia,” blocking adults from remembering any experiences prior to the age of four.
Understanding Core Memories
Over the past few years, the phrase “core memory” has been widely adopted in conversations around childhood and personal development. As Harris explains, this idea has no basis in science. Yet, according to Holtz, “the concept of a core memory is not based in science.” Rather, she suggests that human memory is a vast web of associations made through experiences and encounters in the world, shaped over the years.
Kangas is on board with this idea when she says, memories play a very real functional purpose. They help us learn, remember, and understand knowledge that ranges from abstract to very detailed. She reflects on the ways that memories are tied to feeling and collective history. These connections have an immense impact on how the public sees their history.
Harris explains that the capacity to think back on previously lived experiences develops as children mature. She says, the more you go through things as an adult, you practice and solidify those experiences. This process makes it easier to fold them into the rest of your life. This leads back to the notion that childhood is a key window for memory-making.
Parenting and Memory Creation
Just ask committed kids’ advocates parents-child Macey Barton, who kneads a joyful-hot-dog vision into everything she does. They do this to create joyful experiences that become lifelong memories. Barton has great memories of her childhood. She says, “She just kept us always laughing, and we were always dancing … that’s what I try and do with my kids too, just because it’s a good memory.”
There are ongoing debates as to why cohesive family dynamics have an important effect on the creation or remembrance of memories. For example, food anthropologist, Stefania Brunetti, tells us about how her Italian lineage has fortified her family’s bond with food. And then being Italian, I mean food is everything, it’s so important, and we just do so many things that really kind of create these memories around food. We cook a lot together,” Brunetti explains. Not only does participating in these types of activities build family bonds, but they help create meaningful, lifetime memories.
The danger is in thinking that parents can “engineer” their children’s memories. She makes the case that though parents may set up enriching experiences, the memory each person will have will be personal to them. We shape and influence each other’s memories by shared experiences … but emotions are subjective — and this is where the danger lies,” she notes.
The Role of Emotions in Memory Formation
Emotionality should be no surprise, as emotions are central to how memories are formed and retrieved. Both Kangas and Harris believe that someone’s recollection and experience with both good and bad memories plays a critical role in personal development. As Kangas says, we all harbor within us both good and bad memories. It becomes a problem when individuals regularly attempt to sidestep confrontation with their maladaptive recollections.
This further emphasizes the role of emotional context in memory creation. Kids who make happy memories are more likely to have deep memories of those experiences later in life. In these few minutes of conversation, Harris emphasizes that people are individuals with real, deep, and complex life experiences. These experiences interlace to form an elaborate web of autobiographical memory.
Interviews with people such as Brunetti and Barton show a deep tie to their childhood experiences. Their memories, once dominated by scarce family interactions and laughter, are bringing to life those experiences. Brunetti recalls a specific moment: “I was at my aunty’s house, and she had answered the phone that was on the wall.” These vivid remembrances are a testament to why foundational experiences are permanently imprinted in our minds — because of their profound emotional impact.
