Stealthing, or the practice of removing a condom during sex without permission, is on the rise. Yet this shocking performance has become a significant legal and public relations catastrophe in Australia. Stealthing is therefore a form of sexual assault or rape. For one, it affects people of all genders and sexualities, having a substantial impact on both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. In response, Australian lawmakers passed new legislation making this act illegal in the majority of states. Alarmingly, the Northern Territory remains the only region that has not carried out these reforms.
Dr. Vijay Ramanathan, senior lecturer at the University of Sydney, accredited psychosexual therapist He wants to make it clear that stealthing is not just a concerning trend. It’s a disconcerting breach of trust. He explains that a lot of men have big misunderstandings about condoms. They think that avoiding one makes things more enjoyable or indicates a level of trust between partners. This dangerous misperception has devastating emotional and physical repercussions for victims.
Over the past few years, there has been an increasing acknowledgment of the implications of stealthing. Dr. Brianna Chesser, an RMIT University associate professor in criminology, said it signals that stealthing is indeed a crime. She notes it’s still not possible to track the total number of charges related to the crime. This challenge is rooted in how crime data and statistics define and document stealthing. It can get aggregated into larger buckets of sexual violence.
“Look at it really difficult to be able to track how many people have been charged with stealthing. It’s not reported on specifically in crime statistics,” – [Anonymous source]
In 2021, a landmark case began to shift Australia’s legal landscape on stealthing. A man was found guilty of rape, following a jury trial in the ACT Supreme Court. During a visit with a sex worker, he surreptitiously removed the condom. This case brought to public attention the pressing need for legal recourse against the act of stealthing. It exposed the extreme vulnerability of sex workers, whose lives are at high risk.
Chanel Contos is the founder of Teach Us Consent and a tireless advocate for comprehensive sexual education. She mourns the culture that leads to such misconceptions about stealthing. She highlights that most people don’t think of it as a crime. Sometimes this is an outcome of a misunderstanding of consent or sexual norms. In a survey of dating app users, researchers found a troubling pattern. It showed, for example, that one in four Gen Z and Millennial respondents incorrectly believed that stealthing could be something consensual or were unsure whether it was illegal.
Dr. Chesser explains the progress made over the last five years:
“In the last five or so years there’s been quite a big push in Australia to criminalise stealthing. The ACT was the first jurisdiction in Australia to criminalise; then Victoria, Queensland, New South Wales, South Australia have all followed suit.” – Brianna Chesser
Despite these advancements, educators like Dr. Ramanathan and Dr. Chesser emphasize the importance of ongoing education about consent and its nuances. They suggest that societal perceptions of sexuality and consent must be raised to a higher understanding of sexual activity and consent to avoid confusion and violation.
“Stealthing is a uniquely delicate crime because in order for stealthing to occur, you would’ve had to consent to sex with a condom,” – Chanel Contos
Contos explains the emotional intricacies at play for victims, who can have a hard time trusting their assailants. This built-in paradox can compound the difficulty of reporting these types of incidents.
According to Dr. Ramanathan, when a trauma happens, it can show up in all sorts of ways, affecting future relationships and overall psychological health.
“Trauma comes in different sizes and forms and shapes and consequence and depth… It is an assault.” – Dr Vijay Ramanathan
Despite an upsurge in public knowledge and recent prosecutions of stealthing, many remain unaware of what stealthing is and its impact. According to Dr. Ramanathan, men are motivated by myths about pleasure linked to condom use.
“Somehow they have programmed it in their mind that having a condom is not going to give the same pleasure as doing sex without a condom,” – Dr Vijay Ramanathan
This idea reinforces a culture in which stealthing happens from entitlement, not evil. Dr. Chesser elaborates on the challenges faced by advocates in raising awareness about this issue:
“It is an act that can occur out of entitlement and apathy rather than an intent to harm.” – Brianna Chesser
Organizations like Tinder and advocates like Chanel Contos have come together to raise awareness about the importance of consent. As they explain, they’re changing the world one consent course at a time. Taken together, these initiatives are a promising sign that we are moving toward building a culture in which consent is more actively discussed, respected, and established.
