Looking to the NFL, Tom Brady, arguably the greatest athlete of all time, has seven Super Bowl titles. He’s been writing lately in response to comments from professional golfer Scottie Scheffler on the challenges of balancing sports and family life. Scheffler said he didn’t want to be known as a great golfer. This made Brady consider the joint nature of family responsibilities and career ambitions in a recent newsletter.
Brady, who was previously married to supermodel Gisele Bündchen for 13 years, has two kids with her. He has a 12-year-old son, Jack, with actress Bridget Moynahan. His 23-year career in the NFL has been marked by both triumphs and personal challenges, including a high-profile divorce from Bündchen in October 2022. Brady first retired for all of 40 days in February of 2022. Yet only 40 days later, he decided to come back, re-entering the league for his 23rd season, all while experiencing profound personal turmoil.
Brady, in his own newsletter, took direct aim at Scheffler’s comments. He challenged the notion that striving for excellence in high performance sport should come at odds with starting a family.
“Scottie said he’d rather be a better father and husband than a good golfer. And my question is: why are those mutually exclusive?” – Tom Brady
“Sure, they’re different blocks on the pyramid, but they’re part of the same pyramid. They’re connected! For instance, I think part of being a great father is being a great example of doing what it takes to take care of your family. I chose to do it by playing football.” – Tom Brady
Unfortunately, his undying commitment to his craft has made that impossible, as it has – literally – cost him relationships. He missed 11 days of training camp last year for personal reasons. This little incident, though, painted a picture of the struggle he was having to juggle his home and work life. During the course of his marriage, Brady and Bündchen often spoke about the toll his career was taking on their family life.
Bündchen once shared her perspective, stating, “Tom Brady’s focus is on Tom Brady’s career, mine is mostly on the kids.” Brady expressed deep appreciation for how vital a role she had played in keeping their home life afloat while he chased his sports dreams.
“My wife has held down the house for a long time now, and I think there’s things that she wants to accomplish,” he said. “You know, she hasn’t worked as much in the last 10, 12 years, just raising our family.”
Brady discussed the thousands of hours spent preparing in practice and the laser-like focus needed to perform at such an elite level. He quickly came to see that all these experiences were things that his family benefited from.
“The hours of practice, the moments when I was laser focused — those were times when I believe I was doing the best possible thing for my family and my kids, by prioritizing my profession and teaching, by example, what it takes to be really good at your job.” – Tom Brady
Scheffler’s comments raised a deeper, more existential question about what success and happiness means in professional sports. He explained that when he achieved the highest level of success in golf, he wasn’t nearly as fulfilled or happy as he thought he would be.
“At the end of the day it’s like — this is not a fulfilling life,” said Scheffler. “And all of a sudden you get to No. 1 in the world, and you’re like, ‘What’s the point? Why do I want to win this tournament so bad?’ Because if I win — it’s going to be awesome for about two minutes.”
Further, he was adamant that if his professional golf career began to negatively impact his family life, he would step away from the game. His relationships with family and friends are sacred to him.
“If my golf ever started affecting my home life or it ever affected the relationship I have with my wife or with my son, that’s gonna be the last day that I play out here for a living,” Scheffler added. “This is not the be-all, end-all.”
Michael Strahan and Dr. Leah Lagos added their voices to this growing discussion about prioritizing athlete wellness over performance.
As someone who played a sport like golf, inherently more inclusive for families than a sport like football, Strahan acknowledged those natures differences.
“I honestly think the sports are different. Golf, you go for a week and a lot of time they take their family. Football, you’re in and out.” – Michael Strahan
Dr. Lagos encouraged a focus on authenticity when figuring out how to balance personal and professional dreams.
“But knowing which kind of prioritizations and your preferences and just being very authentic about those and harnessing those with truth becomes very powerful.” – Dr. Leah Lagos
