Winston, a 12-year-old boy, has opened the door to an important dialogue about bullying and its effects on children. After enduring crippling daily bullying at school, Winston’s emotional collapse led his mother, Nama, to take swift and drastic steps. Although the circumstances leading to her death were horrendous, her incident ignited an important national conversation about bullying. It also highlighted the stigma that prevents parents from engaging in these conversations.
It was on that apparently routine early half-day that Nama watched Winston come home crying like she had never seen him cry before. He opened up about being bullied, having to endure name-calling and even getting punched on his walk home from school. In a desperate attempt to protect himself, Winston pleaded with his mother not to notify his school about the ongoing bullying. Above all, he was afraid that courageous staff action would put him in a situation where his bully would find him and make his life worse.
Sensing her son’s anxiety, Nama resolved to play it safe. So she set up a meeting with the school principal first thing the following morning to talk over Winston’s ordeal. To ensure his unique safety needs were met, the school developed an extensive safety plan. Until they showed us how easily and subtly they ushered Winston from one classroom to another and walked him to his bus each day. This plan was conveyed to students and staff by the head of school in a morning all-community meeting, underscoring the school’s commitment to responding quickly and effectively.
Winston’s experience struck a nerve with Nama and inspired her to understand why conversations about bullying don’t happen among parents, nor do they need to be so taboo. By sharing her son’s story on the Insight episode called “Modern Parenting,” she experienced the unforeseen relief of knowing other parents felt the same way. Within days of the episode airing, two people. Participants shared their own sense of relief at learning they weren’t the only ones trying to navigate the same challenges.
Over 73% of Australian parents with bullied kids feel afraid for their child. One parent commented, “He’s worried about retaliation from the gang,” emphasizing the apprehension that children feel when facing bullies. Another parent noted, “She doesn’t want the rest of the class to learn about the nickname and start using it, too,” illustrating the concern many parents have about the social repercussions of bullying.
Nama’s friend echoed these sentiments, confessing her reluctance to discuss her child’s bullying situation. “I don’t want the other mums telling their kids about it, like it’s gossip,” she stated, highlighting how societal judgments can complicate an already painful experience.
This social reticence towards bullying not only leads to emotional distress, but in some cases, death. As Nama poignantly remarked, “Suffering in silence means the taboo continues.” Too often kids internalize what they’re going through, feeling like it’s their fault, and that there’s something wrong with them. One concerned parent expressed this sentiment: “They are ashamed about being bullied. They think they’re a loser.”
After Winston’s case went public, the school acted quickly and decisively. A number of parents would like to see this practice become routine across our educational institutions. By adopting the best engineering, education, and enforcement practices schools can become oases of safety for vulnerable students. Starting a conversation about bullying is a critical step in this process.
