Thankfully, Jules Sheldon’s new project as a 26-year-old musician from Melbourne would prove otherwise. He’s now moved back in with his parents, Jeremy and Sue. This new, unusual living arrangement comes on the heels of years spent in a unique and challenging family balance. It started with Jeremy coming out, which took place when Jules was just six years old.
Having grown up in an otherwise outwardly functional home, Jules wanted nothing more than to spread his wings like his biggest inspiration, David Bowie. Then things changed on Jeremy’s childhood homefront, after his older brother, Jeremy, came out as gay. This announcement deeply confused young Jules. At that age, he struggled to comprehend the implications of his father’s identity and the subsequent changes in their family structure.
“I was deeply confused because when you’re like, what, five, six years old, how are you meant to comprehend what it means that your dad’s gay? How do you know that? All you know is the black and white of it because that’s how kids are,” Jules shared.
Quickly after Jeremy’s announcement, the couple started the separation process. They formally filed for divorce on New Year’s Day of 1999, almost two years after Jeremy came out to them. Although the pandemic brought Jeremy’s and Marigold’s collaboration to a halt, it proved fortuitous in another respect. Each parent’s residence was his primary residence, alternating weeks.
The separation was not without its challenges. “Interestingly it took almost two years before we officially ended it,” Sue recalled. In our conversations, we all kept hoping, No, it can’t be this way, we shouldn’t have to go down this road. We went to marriage counseling because we loved each other and our son. We loved our family and didn’t want this to happen.
Jeremy’s statements touched on the emotional impact of their separation. “There was a real sadness as we struggled to let go of our marriage because essentially we did enjoy it and the family we’d created with Jules,” he stated.
When Sue’s mother became unwell, Jeremy came back from Adelaide to Melbourne to help take care of her. After her death, all three of them agreed to remain in the 3-generation family house together. For Jules, this arrangement felt natural. “I feel like it’s a dirty shame thing to say but yeah, it’s really nice living with them,” he said.
In fact, Jules feels that this rare circumstance has only helped them cultivate an even deeper connection with one another. Even in this new normal, their love and commitment to me as parents didn’t waver. They kept putting me first and I’m very thankful for that,” he said.
The divorced couple has successfully re-negotiated their relationship after their divorce. Jules reflected on how they managed to stay friends in spite of all that year’s challenge and strife. They did it as bloody horrible as you can,” he stated. There’s no such thing as a good divorce… What there is, is the ability to pick up the pieces on the other side and still look at each other and see friendship and love which is what my mum and dad have forged.
