At times she argued that Kelly, a devoted mother, has adopted a more easy-going approach to child-rearing with her three kids. She sometimes reminisces on her own youth and the inflexible rules her father, David, established. Famous for his intensity and “tiger parent” approach, David drove discipline, persistence, and strength into Kelly’s early development. At home, as she continues to raise her daughters, Kelly is a poodle—range and creativity, flexibility and flow are the name of the game.
David, an accountant by trade, had his heart, soul, life in numbers through sports such as tennis among many others. His analytical mind shaped his approach to parenting. He set Kelly on a clear and difficult path, and then he held her accountable to it. Kelly’s early life was filled with creativity and energy. She studied music – piano, violin, and cello, went to the library every week, engaged in many cultural programs in her school, all with the goal of creating a culture of educational achievement.
Kelly recalls her daily schedule vividly. It covered highly academic content like fractions, long division and algebra. There was no time for sloth. Weekends were not spent on the couch or perusing the latest Patricia Cornwell for entertainment. Rather, they were used to allow her to spend time doing constructive activities that strengthened the values her immigrant parents valued most.
Now that Kelly is a parent herself, she knows how critical balance can be. And though she appreciates order in her daughters’ lives, she has decided to add a little more looseness into their childhood. Her daughters, Melanie and Michelle gardening with their grandfather, David. Clad in rainpants and rubber boots, they happen on an experience that unlocks the imagination and roots them further into the natural world. This pragmatic experience is a sharp counterpoint to the rigid academic preoccupation of Kelly’s upbringing.
Kelly believes in the benefits of a disciplined and structured environment but acknowledges that each generation brings its own perspectives on parenting. All of this serves her overarching pedagogy, which prioritizes fostering her children’s unique passions while adhering to an orderly daily skeleton structure. Just like her parents before her, she prioritizes resilience and persistence but does so in a manner that allows for flexibility and exploration.
The differences between Kelly’s strict upbringing, compared to her parenting style now, are a testament to the changing world of family life. As our social fabric evolves, so too do parenting approaches to reflect new cultural norms and priorities. As you can see, Kelly has had an incredible turnaround. She has fully adopted the “poodle” model since then and today celebrates her love of emotional intelligence and creative expression in child development.
