In a world where polyamorous relationships are gaining mainstream visibility, Helen, Hugh, and Lena have emerged as the media’s favorite throuple. For more than a year and a half now they’ve fully committed to that unconventional lifestyle. The triad consists of 27-year-old Helen, 30-year-old Hugh, and 33-year-old Lena. Together, they show what it’s like for love to flourish in a triad and all the beauty that exists alongside the hurdles being constantly met.
The three of them first met in 2018, then connecting with one another on important values and ideas before forging their dynamic relationship as a thruple. Helen’s subsequent decision to move in with Hugh and Lena so that she can help out on their farm fosters even stronger romantic and sexual ties. After many years of friendship, Helen and Lena came to understand that they were both bisexual. Their affection for one another deepened their already special dynamic even more.
Helen explains their throuple structure as one that provides “freedom to.” “Life is all about experiences and I don’t want mine limited by rules that don’t make sense to me,” she states. The throuple is open to the idea of welcoming others into their lives but remains committed to each other’s everyday presence and future plans as a trio.
They have a preference for personal space while having a predilection for communal living space. Each resident has their own private bedroom, yet they gather in common spaces to share meals and a variety of programs, fostering open dialogue. This equilibrium makes it possible for them to be true to themselves and at the same time sustain their connection as a group.
Helen, Hugh, and Lena are especially interested in forming a family together. They think that with three guaranteed incomes, their financial situation is basic enough to not need advanced knowledge. This is particularly important when it comes to planning for kids.
The trio is very aware of the tightrope of balancing the feelings, expectations and desires of three different musicians. “Balancing three people’s feelings, expectations, and desires is no easy task,” admits Helen. Hugh adds, “It’s hard enough for two people to agree; adding a third complicates things.”
Frequent, open communication is the bedrock of their strong relationship. Bozza, an expert on relationships, says the key is to dive deeply into unclouded transparency and uncomplicated clarity. “It’s about knowing who you are and what you’re looking for and ensuring everyone’s on the same page,” they explain.
The throuple conducts frequent check-ins where they express how they’re feeling and work through anything that comes up. “Regular check-ins where everyone lays out their feelings are essential,” Bozza advises. This practice helps them avoid escalating unavoidable conflicts by forcing them to choose sides — a terrible choice to have to make.
When frustrated, it’s tempting to get someone on your side, but that’s not fair, Hugh notes. “If I’ve upset Helen, she needs to talk to Lena, but we can’t both offload on her.” Helen echoes this sentiment: “If there’s discord or disagreement between two of us, you’re not on one of our teams. I find that quite hard.”
Helen, Hugh, and Lena are taking on the unique challenges that come with their throuple. This changing landscape makes their daily lives an adventure and greatly enhances their self-confidence. Helen reflects on the emotional benefits: “If you’re lacking in some way and loved for who you really are, that’s beneficial for your self-esteem.”
Their relationship model promotes a greater feeling of independence within the partners. Hugh describes their dynamic as fitting seamlessly into their lives: “It’s like a normal relationship now; it just fitted in with us.” This flexibility helps each partner thrive individually, while raising and uplifting one another as a community that succeeds together.
As with most other relationships, jealousy can be a major issue in nonmonogamy. The throuple creates a paradoxical dynamic that invites greater joy and harmonious connection rather than rivalry. Abbey Mackay shares insights on this unique aspect: “It’s the opposite of jealousy, a feeling of happiness. Seeing your partner as an independent person can be invigorating.”
