Shelly, 45, a journalist and media business owner, had a rocky experience with perimenopause that kicked off in early 2020. She experienced 12 years of period-free bliss with her IUD, which means she benefited from period skipping her entire adult life. Then her life changed in a big way. She went on to develop debilitating symptoms, most prominently severe depression, fatigue and excessive heavy bleeding. Shelly’s struggles culminated in an “Armageddon period” that lasted an astonishing 62 days, leading to a hospitalization that would forever change her perspective on health and wellness.
Her symptoms continued to spiral over the months. Though in continuous pain, she lived in distress and desperation for nine months without consulting a doctor. It was during this period that Shelly really blossomed professionally. The mental and physical toll of perimenopause started to catch up to her.
Shelly’s experience with perimenopausal depression grew so intense that she was sobbing every day—sometimes without even knowing why. As the global pandemic set in, by no means did these factors help her condition, increasing her sense of despair and entrapment. As she dealt with the fallout, it wasn’t until her husband could no longer watch her suffer for almost a year that he stepped in.
“Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” – Shelly
The real turning point was when Shelly became hospitalized from her symptoms complicating into something worse. She woke up in intensive care, with four cannulas (thin catheters) in her arms. A partially collapsed lung, a broken tooth, and a ripped apart throat from an emergency intubation were her bitter new realities. This life-altering experience was what she needed to finally confront her health realities. Her family’s response revived a panic that would drive her to find treatment.
After she started getting treatment, Shelly quickly started to feel more like herself again. And within a month—just a month—she was feeling way better, her mood was leveling out, she felt all around much more stable. She used her journey of recovery to inspire her book, I’m Your Peri Godmother. This empowering book is designed to dispel the fears and unknowns of perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause. The book weaves scientific knowledge with her own personal experiences meant to educate and empower women who are going through the same ordeals.
Shelly’s journey underscores a real need for society to have candid conversations around perimenopause. The unfortunate truth is that in most instances, women are forced to face this confusing and troublesome transition on their own and with little knowledge. Shelly was met with disbelief from other medical providers during her entire journey. When she was finally referred to a psychologist for help with her perimenopausal depression, the psychologist didn’t believe women could be perimenopausal and depressed.
“What’s perimenopausal depression?” – Psychologist
This response highlights a deeper problem in the medical world. It is an alarming and continued pattern of ignorance and denial around women’s health. Shelly hopes that whatever happens, there will be more education for healthcare providers and patients across the board.
Most general practitioners (GPs) recommend women who struggle with similar symptoms to practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and exercising, or explore new passions. For Shelly, these recommendations seemed inadequate given the burden of her negative experiences.
“Meditate,” – Many GPs
“Take up a hobby,” – Many GPs
Yet, she admits that these coping mechanisms can be helpful as long as the women have professional treatment to support them. Her personal story illustrates how important it is for women to pursue timely medical attention in order to successfully manage perimenopausal symptoms.
Shelly’s story serves in a powerful way to remind all of us that perimenopause is not an individual battle. It’s an injustice that requires society-wide awareness and action. She urges women to speak up about their experiences and advocate for themselves with health professionals.
