Rhea Abraham, a bereaved Indo-Caribbean mother, has harnessed her personal sorrow into an equally vibrant advocacy force. She advocates for women from culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) backgrounds who experience complex issues navigating infertility and pregnancy loss. After going through several miscarriages and the loss of her daughter June at 14 weeks to a lethal condition, Abraham knew she had to do something. She dove into an advocacy career to help others who are especially treading the same waters.
Raised in Deep Southern culture amid matrifocal Indigenous and African American traditions, Abraham bore the impact of expectations concerning family life. The stigma attached to fertility treatment only added to her emotional turmoil. Even with a supportive partner and after undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF), she faced societal pressures that added to her isolation.
Abraham described her experiences vividly, stating, “The stigma attached to not being able to bear a child was insurmountable.” She remembered the religious and cultural rhetoric around motherhood that made her feel like a curse instead of a blessing. “What I wasn’t prepared for was the religious and cultural language around women being ‘blessed’ with children,” she added.
Abraham noted the unique issues that CALD communities are up against. To change the narrative, he started Dark Horse International, a media company started to amplify their voices. She has used this platform to speak out for improved grief literacy. Her passion is in building sacred spaces for women to share their pain without judgment. Abraham emphasized the importance of fostering culturally sensitive conversations, stating, “It’s important to bring culturally sensitive conversation to the forefront and give communities a voice and place to ask questions.”
The stigma attached to fertility problems can lead to dire consequences for women in immigrant populations. Karina Bosetti, a colleague of Abraham’s, noted that patients in some migrant communities are often reluctant to engage in donor services. This hesitance often results in long-term childlessness and even the end of marriages as couples feel forced to conceive under societal expectations.
“Taking longer to seek help, then delaying treatment, always runs the risk of being unsuccessful with treatment,” Bosetti explained. Culturally relevant, culturally directed information is really important. Most importantly, it directly addresses the big worries and urgent challenges that these communities face.
Abraham’s personal story really brings to life the nuanced expectations that families and communities place on individuals. Initially when she started seeing her husband, he said he wanted to be a dad. I had this realization on our first date that, if I was going to be with him, I was going to have to step into the role of a mother myself. That was an idea so unaccustomed to me at that time in my life,” she continued. This pressure only increased as she went through the labyrinth of fertility treatments.
Through her advocacy work, Abraham inspires other women to tell their stories, and to find support without fear of judgment. She feels that having communities able to talk about hot button topics such as fertility issues is important. She warned us that some subjects would be taboo, or just not talked about in their community. What’s more, people find it hard to raise their issues.
Despite the challenges she has faced, Abraham finds solace in the support of friends and family who honor her daughter’s memory. “What I am blessed with are friends and family who remember my baby girl June, who will always live on in my heart,” she expressed.
Today, Abraham is proud to take on the growing role of advocate and mentor to other women in her community. She describes herself as living vicariously through the experiences of others, saying, “I live vicariously now as a proud, typical Indian aunty.” Abraham uses her position at Dark Horse International to advocate for CALD women who are navigating fertility and pregnancy loss. She journeys with those who grieve and she harnesses her own grief into a fierce river of advocacy that fights for those most in need.
