29-year-old netball player Cara Koenen so far has proven to be the most striking voice in the debate surrounding gendered violence. She draws on a specific, personal experience that catalyzed a major shift in her own life. She highlights the critical and urgent need for men to be part of the conversation about this important issue. Koenen is fueled by a fire for justice and obligation to serve. She fearlessly calls on us all to recognize behaviors that appear innocent enough, but lay the groundwork for violence down the road in future generations.
Koenen’s advocacy is underscored by alarming statistics. In 2024, 37 women had already succumbed to gendered violence. What’s more, over 4,600 women were hospitalized due to family and domestic violence. These numbers, as shocking as they are, only point to the crisis and feed her desire to continue creating conversations that foster impactful change.
A Personal Journey Through Trauma
Koenen recalls her personal experience with sexual violence, which “rocked her life.” In fact, she is very candid about how the experience’s fallout undermined her confidence. In turn, this affected all aspects of her life – including her netball game and concentration while studying for her Masters in Molecular Imaging Technology.
“I sat with my experience alone for a period of time due to feelings of embarrassment,” Koenen admits. She said she was ultimately able to summon the courage to seek help from friends and family. Her journey from isolation to empowerment ignited a passion to inspire and help those who, like her, are still suffering in silence.
“No part of what happened to me was my fault.” – Cara Koenen
Koenen drives home an important truth — as folks work to end gendered violence, most victims don’t speak out. They frequently decide not to report out of intimidation and embarrassment. “We haven’t yet created a safe enough space for people to be able to come forward with their experiences,” she explains. In a recent post, she encourages the public to start understanding one key thing. The myth that gendered violence only occurs at the hands of strangers is an incredibly damaging factor.
Challenging Societal Norms
Koenen is proud to be visible within Australia’s most participatory sport for females, netball. She implores society to take a long, hard look at what may appear as harmless behaviors and mindsets that can commence a cycle of violence among future generations.
“It starts with those little misogynistic, patriarchal behaviors or comments, like telling a girl [a boy] pulls your hair because he likes you,” she states. “They seem harmless, but they contribute to this broader issue.” Her message is clear: society must educate itself and others about what constitutes acceptable behavior.
Koenen’s approach goes beyond prevention and is deeply rooted in empowerment. Kelly knows that it’s important for all of us—particularly young girls—to feel empowered to speak out against harmful behavior.
“We need to create a society where everyone calls out harmful behaviour, where we empower each other and especially the little girls who look up to us.” – Cara Koenen
The Role of Men in the Conversation
What’s most important, according to Koenen, is that men need to be at the center of preventing gendered violence. She urges them to become active participants in discussions around this topic instead of quiet bystanders. “It has everything to do with society and how we educate people and provide safe spaces for those who’ve suffered through domestic and family violence,” she asserts.
Her dedication extends past her own lived experience. She hopes to continue motivating people through her accomplishments as an athlete and leader. In sharing her story, Koenen hopes to get ourselves to a place where people aren’t afraid to stand up and speak against violence.
“No matter what that little voice in the back of your head tells you, it’s never anything to do with the victim.” – Cara Koenen
While a lot of these ideas are big and ambitious, she’s staunchly committed to change starting with awareness and education. Through fostering frank conversations around gendered violence, she seeks to change hearts and minds in order to save people’s lives.
