Lee Unsworth, former Manchester United academy coach for 16 years, is taking to the pitch to teach kids some crucial lessons. He’s hoping to touch the hearts of both parents and young athletes. Unsworth began his coaching career with the glamorous academy in 2008. He’s all about fostering an authentic passion for athletics, rather than putting kids on the fast track for high-level competition. His observations come at a timely juncture. These days, youth sports are often more focused on competition than fun, leading to increased stress for children and families alike.
Unsworth’s advice to kids—and their parents—who want to pursue a career in the sport remains the same: work on developing love for the game. To him, it’s important that kids don’t feel pressured to participate in school-based athletics by their parents or coaches. Instead, he promotes a culture of curiosity, where children delight in pursuing their passions without constraints. This feeling represents a larger, national trend among youth coaches to push back against outside influences that are hurting the youth sports experience.
A Call for Parental Support
Unsworth’s recommendations are clear: he advises parents to “sit back, watch, enjoy, keep your mouth shut, support, encourage.” This new philosophy provides children the opportunity to pursue excellence in their areas of interest, free from the pressures of parental aspiration dragging them under.
Scott believes parents are key to creating sporting experiences that are beneficial and healthy for their children. Specifically, he implores parents to stop shaming their children. As long as the children are enjoying the game – they’re having fun – let them continue playing and the parents can have fun going along that path with them. Parents can help their kids develop a lifelong passion for the sport by staying positive. They should be wary of snuffing out this passion with judgment or micromanagement.
Unsworth warns of the pitfalls of a hyper-focus on athletics. He cautions that making a single thing the focus of your whole life can be toxic. That’s how it always works, right? After all, it almost never results in the thing we’re all looking for. This harsh warning should serve to tell all parents and young athletes the unvarnished reality. It’s all about the journey, not the destination!
Rethinking the Pursuit of Elitism
Unsworth’s also big on unloading on the elitism that’s crept into youth sports, and the never-ending drive to accelerate it. It’s also specifically designed to catapult children into elite levels. I don’t think doing that in the pursuit of elitism is really good for us. A lot of people that are in the coaching community tend to have this belief. These are learn to sport like care too much about young athletes needed every bit held up maximizing their potential without pressure.
Dr. Cher McGillivray cares deeply about fostering a child’s love of the game. She argues this must be prioritized above simply pursuing higher and higher performance. She emphasizes that children should have the autonomy to engage with sports in a way that feels right for them. “Allow for your child to initiate bringing the game to you if they’re willing,” she shares. Children are empowered to have responsibility for their sporting environment through this approach.
In addition to the physical benefits of sports participation, Dr. McGillivray points out the emotional aspects. Along with staying tuned into kids’ emotional experiences, she says it’s important for parents to model healthy emotional responses. Help your child understand that it’s okay to be angry, sad, ashamed, or embarrassed. Help your teen identify and express what they’re feeling so you can better understand and help them navigate their experiences.
The Importance of Childhood Experiences
Unsworth’s thoughts on youth sports go beyond just focusing on fun, but to the bigger picture of what childhood experiences can mean. He beautifully reminds us, “You only get one childhood and when it’s gone it’s never coming back.” This poignant reminder calls on us to give kids the space to enjoy their childhood years without the burdens of adulthood weighing down on them.
Above all, he cautions against wasting these rare opportunities chasing after impossible solutions. If you lose that in the quest for something that isn’t out there, you’ll live to regret it,” he warns. These types of reflections urge parents, coaches, and communities to reconsider their priorities within youth sports.
Barry Saunders, another voice in this discussion, reminds us that “this is a kid’s game.” Not only does he think it’s important for adults to realize that kids are always in the process of learning and that play in itself is learning, their minds aren’t finished cooking yet like an adult’s, so it requires a very different environment that nurtures comprehension and fun.
