Recent Australian Bureau of Statistics data gives great insight into the interfaith and intra-faith marriage dynamic. It paints an inspiring picture of a web of connections fostered by unique religious traditions. The results show the breadth and depth of the couples. Some fully embrace their distinct religious traditions, others work through their differences with remarkable respect.
One of the featured pairs is Ryan and Frem from Melbourne. Married for the past six years, Frem considers himself a “very religious” Catholic and Ryan an atheist. Their love story is a beautiful portrayal of how love knows no religious bounds. Frem makes it clear that Ryan has always honored her boundaries, “For me, it’s not about what you’re advocating for…It’s what you’ve earned based on your life lived. That same respect for each other’s differences has been the foundation of their 54-year marriage.
Esther and Taylor, a Mormon couple who got married in 2018, offer a much deeper look into intra-faith unions. Both born and raised in the Mormon church, they embody the trend where 76% of Australia’s 23,000 married Latter-day Saints choose partners within their faith. Esther was 23 and Taylor was 25 when they married. From that moment on, it was clear that their fate would be intertwined in a community of deeply-held convictions.
Of course, friends and fellow artists Devi Rangarajan and Kumar Srinivasan go even further with the unconventionality of their marriage. With only a day’s acquaintance before their wedding, they are celebrating their 20th anniversary of life together. Their story is not unusual among Hindus in Australia, who marry within their religion about 90 per cent of the time. Kumar states, “Faith plays a significant role in our life and our children’s lives,” reinforcing the importance of shared beliefs in their family structure.
The Landscape of Religious Marriage
The data tells a fascinating story about the reality of marriage across Australia’s faiths. In comparison, Latter-day Saints have a strong marriage bonus. They are more than 340 times as likely to marry another person of their faith, compared to people from different backgrounds. In Australia, 77% of first generation immigrants marry endogamously. This growing trend highlights the power of cultural and religious identity in shaping their relationship preferences.
As our principal investigator, Professor Michael Sherkat, explains these patterns, when groups are more similar in social status, they tend to have higher rates of intermarriage. He states, “Whenever you have groups that have similarities in social status, then they will have more intermarriage, even if there’s a religious divide.” Her short story implies that shared experiences and shared circumstances can often connect us across divides even when beliefs do not match.
An even deeper dive into the data reveals that among same-sex couples, the unaffiliated are number one. They represent an impressive 83% of all married, opposite-sex couples. In Sikhism it’s 74%, in Hinduism 64%, miscellaneous 62%, and in Islam it’s 58%. This data emphasizes the value of understanding how same-sex couples are establishing and maintaining relationships through unique communal ties outside of religious institutions.
Facing Challenges and Celebrating Diversity
While interfaith marriages sometimes bring their own set of obstacles, plenty of couples work through these issues and lead happy lives together. Frem and Ryan highlight, through each other’s deep respect for the other’s belief, that their relationship should be rooted in respect. Frem explains that constantly working through their sometimes-opposing perspectives has led to a culture of understanding, not separation.
Esther’s understanding of the connection between faith and freedom paints a rich portrait of the struggle that those who live in close religious communities endure. Reflecting on her journey after leaving her Mormon roots, she shares: “Then finding that kind of freedom, learning to trust my own decision-making, all of that was a really wonderful thing to discover in the aftermath.” Her experience illustrates what a difficult journey it can be, as people attempt to align their own beliefs with the beliefs of the community around them.
John Zeleznikov offers an internal example of individual reticence to marry interfaith. He does not consider himself a practicing Jew. He’s afraid to marry anyone not of his own ilk. He explains: “It’s just a feeling that they’re more likely to understand me, [a feeling] more of comfort than with someone who’s different.”
