Tania, a 20-something from Ukraine, recently recounted her traumatic encounter. She was displaced from her city of Khartsyzk in the Donetsk region, which has been under Russian occupation since the start of the war several years ago. Since her family’s relocation to Russia following Vladimir Putin’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine in 2022, Tania found herself subjected to abuse and manipulation. Her story sheds light on the deep psychological impact of life under regime control. The plight that changed her life and truly buried thousands of other Ukrainian children under their stacks of such glittering prizes.
Tania experienced the brutality of armed conflict while experiencing the impact of rabid misogyny. Inspired by her lived experiences, she courageously made the choice to leave her circumstances. When she crossed the Ukrainian border, her face was drenched with tears. Her heart pounded in terror, a fate of so many others who are only trying to find peace in a world destroyed by a war. Tania is new to living in Kyiv. She’s unapologetically taking back her life and enjoying her new freedom, but she’s still extremely concerned about the people she left behind.
Life Under Russian Control
Tania’s family temporarily moved to Russia when, in those chaotic early days of the war, they thought it would be a safer option. This choice plunged Tania into a labyrinth of trauma. She described how Russian state-run media radicalized her parents. Though she cried unto them with despair, they shut her out, abandoned her, and no longer responded to their motherland.
It only got worse when Tania started experiencing daily verbal and sexual violence. She remembered the feeling of terror under the fist of a mean kid who killed a dog in front of her.
“I normally didn’t react to him because I didn’t know how to stand up for myself,” – Tania.
Even in the midst of that fear, she got up the courage to challenge him when he took things too far.
“I was afraid he’d hit me. But when he kicked the dog, I couldn’t take it. I yelled at him, asking what he was doing,” – Tania.
This event was representative of the extreme violence that characterized her life in Russia, where she had begun feeling more and more isolated and threatened.
The Escape
Tania’s decision to escape was not an easy choice. It was a choice made from a place of desperation and fear. During the summer of 2022, she was confined to her basement due to the war zone that developed around her. At last, she had hit her limit. She woke up one morning and decided that it was time to go.
The existing routes used to cross the border were complicated and deadly. Tania painted an alarming picture of the panic she experienced coming into the crossing.
“The border crossing wasn’t like other countries, where they just check your bags and passport. Crossing from Russia during the war, as a Ukrainian, is much more dangerous,” – Tania.
She was terrified of being arrested or something worse, the tales of girls abducted at checkpoints tormented her thoughts.
“I even feared not being allowed to leave at all. I’d heard stories of girls being held for three days, starved at checkpoints,” – Tania.
Eventually, though, she was confronted by Russian authorities who detained her for questioning but let her leave after a few hours. Overwhelmed with emotion afterward, she crossed the border into Ukraine with her eyes swollen from crying.
“It was terrifying. But they let me go, and I cried nearly the entire night. When I had to cross the Ukrainian border the next morning, my eyes were swollen from crying,” – Tania.
A New Life in Kyiv
At home in Kyiv, Tania is just starting to put the pieces of her life back together. She’s immersed herself in the city’s creative scene, savoring coffee dates and discovering emerging artists’ work with a refreshing independence. These ghosts of her past refuse to let her go. She fears for the thousands of Ukrainian children remaining in Russia.
Tania knows firsthand of the lingering psychological effects that the war has on young people. She expressed her concern about the millions of children being radicalized by the propaganda. These children are being prodded into environments that deny the very core of who they are.
“Their identity is being erased. I know for sure, kids who have wanted to leave but did not have enough courage. They broke under the weight of propaganda,” – Tania.
She called on all member states to recognize and respond to the specific needs of war-affected children.
“We pray the war ends, but the needs of the children won’t end. In fact, they will only become more … we know trauma may not come straight away; in fact, it may come much later in life. So we need to ensure we are prepared and have services in place,” – Tania.
She was particularly affected by the plight of children living under occupation. These are unduly celebrated as icons of commitment to Russia, which unsettled her immensely.
“It’s heartbreaking to see kids in occupied territories being marched in parades, or like that recent North Korean-style parade,” – Tania.
As always it is Tania’s story that strikes most deeply, reminding us of the human cost of geopolitical conflict on individuals and families. Her survival saga is an ongoing testament to human tenacity against all odds. It further emphasizes the urgent need for strong support systems for everyone impacted by war.
